Morning Pages vs. Blog Posts

Again: "If not now, then when?"

I'm not sure why I feel compelled to do this "transformation" online and in the open instead of in a notebook collecting dust beside the bed. It's so narcissistic. But, here's what goes through my head about that: Being totally honest, I want to the blog to hold me to my task, help me focus on it daily, make me successful beyond my wildest dreams, and help inspire so many people to take control of their health themselves that I am forced out of hiding and burst before the world like the Chip and Joanna Gaines (from the Fixer Upper show) of aging women getting better, healthier and stronger as they age.

I think that's it. It feels pretty disgusting for this to be all me all the time without sharing what I'm learning. For example, yesterday I went to a new Physical Therapist for the first time. I had sinus surgery a few months ago and the CT for that also found deterioration (arthritis) in my neck discs. That could explain the headaches I've had for so long that I am not even conscious of them any more. 

Physical therapy blows my mind. These people know things about our bodies ....IMPORTANT things... that I've never even heard of. Like the psosas muscle. It is the only muscle that holds the top of our body to our legs. With all the sitting we tend to do these days the psoas muscles get very tight. If you're like me, you're always "throwing out" the small of your back. I can feel a pop and I know I am about to go into weeks of stiffness and pain. A few years ago it happened big time and I was sent to PT. They had me stretching the front of my hips. I thought they were crazy until I realized how much it helped. Who knew, right? Maybe if you are an athlete you know this, but if you have trouble even spelling athlete and your computer always tries to correct you when you type "psoas" then this is a jewel to learn about. 

So, today is just a mind dump as I try to find a form/format/plan/goal for this blog. Usually I try to find perfection before I ever start anything...which is why I have way more ideas than I have things to show for them. Whatever. That was then. Today is today. If I'm lucky, no one will find this blog until I have figured something out. I do know I write too much. Bye for now. Time to do my daily (yes, daily) physical therapy for my hurting neck, and I'll throw in some psoas stretches too since the small of my back is in really bad shape, as is my old meniscus tear in my knee, and my old rotator cuff injury in my right shoulder. Yes, I'm a physical mess for now. One day at a time, one step (or stretch) at a time I hope to be better than ever. Maybe if I made a chart it would help me stick to it... 

I Forgot I Was Doing This Already

If not now, then when?

Oops. 

I wrote the following post for a brand new blog called Making Cool Stuff Happen. Then, I realized I had already done it here. Aging is not without its challenges and embarrassments. I'm kind of bummed, because I realized that this "new" idea (of blog-induced change) is not a miracle pill. But, maybe if I actually stick to it I'll make progress. 

In a nutshell, my priorities are:

- lose 80 - 100 pounds

- figure out how to get physically strong without hurting myself (I swear every single person should go to a Physical Therapist. They know things that it is criminal for everyone not to know!)

- have more impact with my work

- lose these feelings of inadequacy 

....you know, basic stuff.

AND, post stuff that I think is really cool that I want to share.

Today's post before I realized I had been here before: 

Making Cool Stuff Happen – Day One

August 12, 2018  Sunday  1:46PM

Did you ever think that you could really do something cool with your life? Do you want to? I sure did…do. But, at 63 years of age I wonder if it is too late. 

This blog is just about one woman trying to break life-long patterns and habits and then saving the world. OK, maybe just having a good life and doing some good would be enough, although this world sure does need saving. 

For years I have wanted to do something like this blog, but either I can’t think of a URL that isn’t taken, or I can’t think of a “hook” to make it interesting, or (most often) I forget and go on to the next thing. Really good excuses, right? 

Today, I’m just starting. I’ll use a URL that I already own. I have no hook or plan. I just want to write. I have some health issues that left alone will probably have me used as tree fertilizer in 10 years. And, I want to be around for some great grandchildren so I really, really want 30 more years. But, I don’t want 30 more years of how I feel physically today. 

So, I guess you could say that this is a shut the f#$% up and do something about it blog. Written by me for me… to hold myself accountable. To quit living in potential and prune it down to actions I can accomplish. Note that there will be ramblings, bad grammar, and awful punctuation. I blame Twitter. 

Oh, and remember, “Try? There is not try. Do or do not.” – Yoda